The Total Theatre of the Petty King - First Floor

UPDATE, this dungeon is now finished. Other pieces can be found here: second floor, basement, gate house, theatre procedures, plays . 

Loch just put up what is probably now my favourite post of theirs, which, considering how I feel about the general quality of The Nothic's Eye, is really saying something.

They have also impugned (in a general way) the courage of their illustrious reader. We are the Baroness' people, and her people do not shrink from the labour, nor yet the bloody confrontation.

The theme is the theatre (THE THEATRE). Gods know that I have been talking a big game about a theatre dungeon for a while, so here we go.

The Total Theatre of the Petty King

The theatre building is large, built in stone on two levels, and the whole incorporates a country house and amenities for living in addition to the stages themselves. This is the Main Building. The Workshops and Greenhouses are part of the same complex.

The approach is across a vast and once-manicured garden estate. The border is an easily-climbed stone wall. It will take you fully one hour to walk through the grounds and arrive at the buildings, and as you do so you will see the old lines and geometries of hedgerows, sculpted hills and follies, flower beds, lakes, and the occasional rotting wooden pagoda. It is still and silent - no birds, not animals; immediately unnatural-feeling to anyone paying attention. In the day it is lushly verdant and green - at night, the moon etches it in black and silver. 

When you get within sight of the main building you will hear a howling and baying in the distance, growing quickly nearer. Then you will see dark shapes rushing towards you, the glint of distant steel, a single, larger shadow loping along beside the others, ungainly but frighteningly fast. 

Magda's Menagerie are the reason why people do not approach the theatre. There are 9 Hounds of Magda in the pack, and they have had their teeth removed and replaced with sharpened steel dentures fastened into the jaw. Accompanying them is the Terrible Armature, which looks something like a terror bird, except that it is ten feet tall and has an oddly long, thin, spear-like beak in place of the usual heavy axe-head shape. When it gets close enough you will see that it is actually a fucked-up bird manikin, built around an iron skeleton and in bad need of repairs, but vicious and apparently ready for violence. Dull blue and red feathers have been attached to it haphazardly. 

Hound of Magda, HD1, steel teeth (d8), unarmoured, speed: twice human, disposition: killer guard dogs. If you kill three of them the rest will flee, lick their wounds, and harry and attack wounded characters or dead bodies opportunistically.

Terrible Armature, HD2 (the size of the body should clearly put this creature at a higher HD, but it is in bad repair, and nearly falling to pieces), terrible beak (2d8), armour: as chain, speed: twice human, disposition: single-minded executioner. Will fight to the death and doesn't take fear damage. Has a corroded iron body (takes -1 from all physical damage, minimum 0), and deals a single point of damage to itself if it gets a critical hit as its enthusiasm tears its mechanisms apart. 

Once the Menagerie have been dealt with, you have access to the Main Building, the Workshops, and the Greenhouses. 

THE MAIN BUILDING - FIRST FLOOR

First Floor - click to make it clearer!

All exterior walls are solid white stone, and all walls with external-facing walls are fitted with large glass sash-windows. In the day time the house has excellent sunlight. At night, the staff light lamps and candles - throughout the house if they are expecting guests, in their quarters if not. The whole is well maintained. Interior doors are wooden with simple brass hinges. Secret doors are all of the same type: fitted to resemble the painted-timber wall panelling that makes up the rest of the interior walls, with catches hidden in the moulding that click open if you know where to press. They ring hollow when tapped, and an adventurer searching for secrets will have no issue discovering them. 

For every hour that you spend exploring, or when you make a loud noise, roll a d20 and consult the table below:

• 1 - 8. Echoing Silence. The house is still, and strange in its stillness.
• 9 - 14. Banging and thumping above, strange human-sounding screaming from below. A confused shout that rings out and goes without answer. Lanterns dim and flicker, and windows bang open in the breeze. Nothing, but further rolls on this table at +1. 
• 15-16. You are discovered by d6 Cloth Manikins dressed in livery and armed with sabres. From now on, they will silently follow you at a distance of 10ft or so, but will not attack unless they are ordered to by one of the staff, or you: attack them; steal something; attack another manikin. Any who roll a 6 for HP are instead Wooden Manikins, and additionally armed with crossbows. 
• 17-18. House Staff. You come across one of the remaining house staff. In rooms 3 - 10 this will be The Chef. In rooms 23 - 32, this will be The Stage Manager. In any other room, this will be The Butler. The Chef and the Stage manager will be alone, but the Butler will be accompanied by his two Iron Manikin guards. See the entries below for details. If the relevant member of staff has been killed, this result counts as 5 - 10. 
• 19. You become aware that you are being stalked by 2d4 Verminous Things from the Basement levels, creeping softly across the floors and ceilings, and waiting for a moment to attack you while you are wounded, weak, or otherwise distracted. If they become aware that you have seen them they will attack immediately. 
• 20. You are set upon by d4 Iron Manikins wielding halberds. They attack immediately, regardless of your actions. There are only 4 such patrols on the house and grounds - once they are expended, this result counts as 5 - 10. 
• 21+. For each roll of 21+, a band of Magda's Old Soldiers arrives from the gatehouse to search the house for you. There will be d6+3 of them, lead by a Sergeant. 

Room Key

1. Main Entrance. An open, white-stone portico, with wide stone stairs that lead down into the gardens. Once inside the portico, the grand double doors lead into the Entrance Hall. Unlike the other furnishings in the property, the grand doors are painted with Magda's arms - a four-pronged lightning bolt that pierces the brain, chest, stomach, and loins of a female body, crucified upsidedown. Usually this device is shown in abstract and heraldic style, but here the painting is shockingly lifelike. The face of the upsidedown woman has been defaced and scratched out.
2. Entrance Hall. If the staff were expecting you, the Entrance Hall will be blazingly lit via two large chandeliers in the centre of the room. The floors are polished timber, and the walls are white and bare. The staircase on the right leads up stairs. Empty. 
3. Western Passage. Lit with dim candles, a marked contrast to the Entrance Hall. Smells of cooking and lye soap.
4. Butler's Rooms. The room of The Butler. 1 in 2 chance of him being here if he is not expecting you. If you open the Southern door too quickly, a crude noisemaker will trigger, prompting a roll on the encounter table. Spotlessly clean and well kept, with a plain but sturdy bed, a dresser, a tarnished mirror on the wall, and a chest containing three identical, enormous, blue tuxedo suits. The dresser is locked, but easy to force. Inside is a steel misericorde with Magda's arms impressed at the base of the blade, 2000+2d10 silver wrapped in leather and divided between four pouches, and a cracked locket - the genderless face inside is elaborately made-up, and absolutely without expression. If the characters have seen Magda, they will recognise them.
5. Kitchens. Large kitchens, clearly still in use. Meticulously kept work surfaces, sharp chef's knives in blocks or lying to hand, two huge fireplaces on the western wall, which be lit for meal times. There are herbs and salted meat hanging from hooks around the room, as well as amphoras of cooking oil, wine, tubs of lard, etc. 1 in 2 chance that The Chef will be here. There are 5 knives in here that would handily serve as light slashing weapons, as well as at least 200 rations. The pit in the northwest corner is covered by a fitted, heavy steel lid, and drops down into the Refuse Heap (see Basement Level). When not in use it is covered for the smell. The secret door to the north is only concealed from the other side - from the kitchen, it is clearly visible. A small peephole has been drilled into it and stuffed with a cotton rag.
6. Tradesman's Entrance. Narrow wooden stair out into the gardens, tastefully obscured from the front of the property. Kept locked. 
7. Wash Room. Washroom and slop bucket for staff use. Smells quite bad, but a tiny, high window lets air in.
8. Chef's House. 'House' is a euphemism - the Chef lives here (and will be found here if she is not in the kitchen). There is a rough mattress and bedding, but no bed frame. A locked chest with the word 'TRAPPED' written on its lid contains two necklaces, stolen from the bedrooms upstairs. They are of superlative quality, and each worth 400s in the capital. There are also four slim books, all bad pulp romance fiction. The chest is not trapped, but the Chef hopes that the warning will deter theft. the Chef sleeps with two knives on her person, and keeps a loaded blunderbuss (of shoddy construction, destroyed and hits the firer on a critical miss) behind the door. If the Butler is ever made aware that the Chef has been stealing from the house, he will attempt to kill her. 
9. Scullery. Troughs, buckets, and a large copper cauldron built over a fire for heating. Smells strongly of lye soap. 
10. Pantry. Flour, beans, sugar, coffee, salt, spices, etc. Enormous quantities of dry ingredients stored and neatly labelled on iron shelving. Would be worth a fortune if you could transport it and sell it on, probably around 10000s, but you would need a wagon. The stairs in the southeast corner lead down to the Basement Level, through an iron door at the bottom, which is locked and bolted from the outside. The pit drops down one level into the Basement - an easy jump for an adventurer. It is fitted with a similar steel lid to the one in the Kitchens.
11. Smoking Room. Tastefully fitted in the Baronial style - white walls, polished wooden floors, dark timber tables and chairs. Large windows open onto the gardens, two perfectly useable steel spears (White City manufacture) are hung, crossed, on the eastern wall. A single large abstract painting takes up the entire southern wall - a classical 'chaos scene', that shows an abstract landscape of frenzied matter before its partitioning by God. A locked liquor cabinet stands at one side of the painting, and contains 800s worth of rare alcohol in fifteen bottles of various shapes, sizes, and colours. A check of the inside of this cabinet will reveal a secret compartment - inside are three glass vials each containing a dose of scentless and tasteless deadly poison, worth 200s apiece.
12. Dining Room. Two long tables with chairs, richly set for a meal of at least fifty people. There is a white, tiled area against the southern wall where four iron basins full of scented water have been set up in front of a fireplace. Two Cloth Manikins, standing by the door, will animate when you walk inside, and draw chairs for however many people are in the party. Each wears a functional rapier at its side.
13. Studio/Showroom. Large windows on three sides, with about 60 paintings hung 'salon style' on the remaining wall space. Obviously all the same painter, with a marked preoccupation with chaos scenes, and with bodies variously distorted - either emerging from or disappearing into the twisting, boiling matter. No faces are visible. Paintings range between 2'x2' and 5'x5', and would each be worth 2d10x20s to a collector or dealer. In the centre of the room are two large, stained tables, covered in pots of pigment and the makings for paint, a makeup stand and mirror, and a strange lantern that can be fitted with different coloured-glass panels to change the colour of the light. Included in the set of fittings are rare uncolour filters of Ulfire and Jale. A large tabby cat, the Ambassador of Dream, sleeps on one of the tables - in the daytime, the Ambassador is always positioned in a choice sunbeam. The Butler will not allow you to enter this room, and will become furious is he discovers you here. 
14. Reception Room. This is where guests would wait before entrance to the theatre itself. Comfortable furnishings to seat around sixty, bright light from three chandeliers, and a small marquee stage at the eastern wall. Four Cloth Manikin musicians will play band music (badly, their instruments are out of tune) when you enter, unless you ask them to stop. The north door, the entry to the theatre, is painted in the same style as the Main Doors, but this scene shows the four-speared lightning originating in the eyes and mouth of the female character, who is now enormous, and destroying towns, cities, and mountains where it strikes the earth. Standing in front of the door is an Iron Manikin holding an ornate halberd. It will not allow you entry, and will attack you if you try to make your way past. If you fight the sentry, the manikin band will attack you using their instruments as improvised weapons. 
15. Library. Bright lamps, comfortable chairs, excellently stocked research library. Pillows strewn on the floor, large enough to sleep on. Topics of main interest: Geometry, Cryptography, Logistics and Military Tactics, History (including banned and anti-church histories), Statistics, Time Travel. There is an exquisite silver flute lying on the table, worth 350s. There is also a large snuff box, containing 12 doses of stimulants, 10 doses of sedatives, and 10 doses of painkillers - you may take these freely, the Butler won't consider it theft. 
16. Armoury and Manikin Repair. Locked, with a door of iron. Inside are 10 halberds, 12 arming swords, 6 muskets, and 10 pistols, as well as powder and shot for 50 firings and everything you need to properly maintain weaponry. There is also a stitching table, and wood- and metalworking tools. Finally, 4 steel breastplates and helmets, and 6 steel bucklers. The Butler will not allow you to enter this room, but will arm himself here (he prefers a brace of pistols) if he wants to kill you and has the time to do so.
17. Storage. Locked. Furniture under sheets, cabinets full of bedding, barrels of lamp oil, tools for the upkeep and general cleaning of the house. Empty.
18. Eastern Passage. Brightly lit with crystal lamps at intervals. Faint odour of copper. Appears immaculately clean, but close inspection will show blood stains and strands of hair in the cracks between the floor boards. 
19. Drawing Room. Locked. This room has been stripped completely bare. The coppery smell is stronger here: copper and lye soap. As in the corridor, close examination of the floor will reveal evidence of bloodshed. The air is silent, but seems to hold a high pitched buzzing just outside of hearing. It is impossible to fall sleep in this room, and if you force yourself to do so using sedatives you will lose d3 random mental stats upon waking, the wages of horrors that you cannot remember. Corpses left in this rooms will animate after five minutes and mime washing themselves with soap, until they are placed elsewhere. Manikins will do the same, indefinitely, in preference to all other actions. 
20. Games Room. Hundreds of wooden hooks have been fastened to the walls, from which hang masks of various makes and hues. There is a darkly-stained, white stone fountain and basin built into the centre of the room - if activated using the machinery in the Basement level, it will start gushing crude oil. There are also two large glass tanks built into the northern wall, and filled with clear liquid - one if half filled with white spirit, the other 3/4 filled with acid. Four heavy iron hooks are installed into the roof. Smells of rot from the northwest corner hint at the hidden Cul-de-Sac. 
21. Staircase. Stone spiral staircase, leads up to the Observatory. Otherwise empty and quiet. 
22. Cul-de-Sac. The smell of rot is unbearable. A naked body has been strung up with steel wire from a heavy iron hook fastened to the ceiling - the decomposition makes identification impossible. A peephole looks from this room into the Games Room. There are 14 spools of steel wire stored in here, each too heavy to carry, which take up most of the floor space. There is also a small steel lockbox, locked, which contains 5 glass vials of crude oil, each infected with a random disease (including potentially the Anathema). 
23. The Theatre (THE THEATRE). Plush carpets, dimmed lighting, dark wood panelling, tasteful gold-leaf accents, the smell of the furnishings, of cigarettes and alcohol. Seating for around 300, all facing the stage. The entire floorspace of this room is taken up by rows of seating which will impair movement, except clear paths at the back, sides, and down the centre of the room. 
24. The Proscenium Stage. Crowded by the Manikin Chorus, who stand frozen in various dramatic postures. 50 percent chance that The Stage Manager will be here, practicing a monologue. You can begin plays here if you have the requisite costume and know what to say. See Theatre Mechanics, below. 
25. Stage Right/Effects Room. Crowded by baroque iron gears, and machinery of unclear purpose. A control panel is built into the northern wall. It has the following settings: CURTAIN (up/down, currently set to up), TILT (up/down, currently set to down), SMOKE (a single button), STROBE (on/off, currently set to off), and DOORS (a single button). CURTAIN raises and lowers a heavy red velvet curtain. A play cannot be performed while the curtain is lowered, and the curtain must be lowered at the end of a play for it to be considered complete. TILT tilt the stage up to a 45 degree angle, potentially tipping those on it into the orchestra pit. SMOKE lets heavy smog into the room from emitters underneath the stage area. Each turn spent doing so will result in -1 to all attacks that rely on vision inside the theatre, stage, or upper galleries, to a maximum of -3. It takes 30 minutes for the smog to disperse. The mechanisms have 20 turns worth of smog still in them. If you are responsible for drainging them completely, the Stage Manager will attack you in a homicidal rage. STROBE floods the stage, theatre, and upper galleries with intense strobe lighting, immediately inflicting d10 fear damage to all inside, and causing attacks to be rolled with disadvantage until switched off.
26. Stage Left. The room where The Kingfisher is kept. Usually inanimate, but will come alive whenever someone steps onto the stage, whether for a play, or any other purpose. If a lie is told on stage, The Kingfisher will scream in a loud, oddly unnerved human voice, and give you a single warning. If a second lie is told by the same person (everyone gets one warning), The Kingfisher try to kill the liar. If you are in character and performing a play, then The Kingfisher will treat deviation from the script as a lie. 
27. Back Stage. Broad, empty space where actors and effects people would wait before stepping onto the stage. An orchestra's worth of smashed and abandoned instruments are piled against the northern wall. Everything is covered in a thick layer of dust, and vermin scurry at the edges of torch or lantern light.
28. The Stage Manager's Room. A room kept in appalling disarray. A rough bed has been fashioned from a bunched up theatrical curtain, and the floor and walls are littered with scripts, sketches, call sheets, and other paper ephemera. There are carcasses and bones of mice and rats strewn about - the occupant's usual nourishment - and the stubs of candles everywhere. The Stage Manager will be here if he is not on stage. Hanging on one wall are three costumes. There are also five scripts in here, scattered amongst the junk. See Theatre Mechanics, below, for information on how to use scripts and costumes. The Stage manager will gladly lend you these if you say that you intend to perform. 
29. Costume and Prop Storage. Most of the room is taken up with miscellaneous scenery and backdrops: forests, the sea, the clouds, a crossroads, etc. There are also prop weapons and armour of every kind - all prop weapons count as improvised weapons, or clubs at best, and prop armour is entirely non-functional, but both will pass as the real thing from a distance or in dim lighting. There are eight additional costumes here, hung from iron racks. 
30. The Stage Manager's Booth. Where he will hide, and hiss instructions to the players as they perform. If you perform, he will do the same, giving you +2 to your checks while performing a play. Otherwise, this is an empty booth. 
31. The King's Booth. Both doors locked and bolted from the inside. A bad smell comes from within. A decomposing corpse has been strung up in steel wire, its neck and limbs nearly sheared through. The corpse is wearing a costume, but putting it on without washing it will expose you to a random disease. It also has a pouch containing 24 platinum piece stuffed down its throat. 
32. Greenrooms. Bare rooms, each with a mirror, a clothing rack, greasepaint with 20-d12 uses, and a 1 in 6 chance of containing a costume.

THEATRE MECHANICS

The Proscenium Stage is crowded with the Manikin Chorus (25 of them). You can 'activate' it by donning the appropriate costume, and then stepping onto the stage (the Chorus will stand to attention), and intoning the opening line. There are many different play fragments scattered throughout the House.

Every time you find a Costume roll on the following table. Duplicates are not rerolled; you can find multiples of the same costume, and they will be useless to you. 

COSTUMES

1. The Young Hero
2. The Clever Maiden
3. The Highwayman
4. The Fool
5. The Magician
6. The Queenlike-King
7. The Captain
8. The Scholar
9. The Soldier
10. The Noble
11. The Executioner
12. The Sailor
13. The Farmer
14. The Farmer's Boylike Daughter
15. The Foreigner
16. The Devilish Angel
17. The Beast
18. The Saint
19. The Scientist
20. The Prince of Dreaming

PLAYS

Plays really ought to be custom-written for this module, and I intend to do a few to attach to this when it's finished. A play has a number of required costumes and actors, a number of a special effects that must be performed at the right time, and a series of checks that must be made. Mostly these will be CHAR checks for moments of acting that have to land (monologues etc.), but occasionally other checks (DEX for a quick costume change) etc. will be required.

In the interim, without making them custom, use this to generate some.

Every time you find a play, you must roll for its requirements. You will need d3+d3 costumes to attempt to perform it, and a minimum of d2+d2 actors. Each actor will need to make d4 CHAR checks to get through the play successfully, or d6 if the play is difficult. If you have more costumes than actors, you will need to make d3 DEX checks (costume changes) in addition to your CHAR checks. Finally, you will need d4-1 special effects, rolled at random, at key moments in the play. If you are on good terms with the Stage Manager, he will do this for you. If not, you will need to find someone else.

Actors always pass all CHAR and DEX checks for these purposes. 

If you fail a check, the Kingfisher will scream a warning at you. If that same person fails a second time, the Kingfisher will attempt to kill them. 

If you finish a play successfully, the mental stat associated with the character you played improves by one point. If you finish a difficult play, you may choose to increase it by 2, but you will then lose 1 point in one of your other mental stats, randomly determined. You will also be eligible to enrol in the Actors' Academy, regardless of your templates. Stat changes take place when you next sleep.

You may only gain stats from a single play in your lifetime. 

BESTIARY

Cloth Manikin. HD1, various weapons (indicated in the encounter), otherwise unarmed; unarmoured, speed as human, but stiff and completely slient, disposition: implacable, unthinking, fearless. If without weapons, will grapple you by preference.

Wooden Manikin. HD1+1, various weapons (indicated in the encounter), otherwise unarmed; armour as light armour, speed as human, clops loudly on wooden floors, disposition: implacable, unthinking, fearless. Wooden Body: -1 to all physical damage, minimum 1. 

Iron Manikin. HD2, various weapons (indicated in the encounter), otherwise unarmed (fists count as warhammers); armour as plate, speed as human, loud stomping footfalls; implacable, unthinking, fearless. Iron Body: all physical damage reduced to 1. 

Verminous Thing. Horrible, pale, humanoid things that creep up from the basement levels when they smell fresh prey entering the mansion. They drain blood using a long, sharp proboscis, and can climb on walls and ceiling without issue, like spiders. Their eyes are completely, unsettling, human. 1HD, unarmoured, d8 bite (each successful attack heals them for 1), speed as human but totally silent, disposition: cruel, cunning, patient. They always run from open flame. 

Old Soldier. What remains of Magda's house troops. Usually they man the gatehouse, but they will swarm back towards the manor if they are made aware that fresh prey have entered. Use the War Dog stats. A Sergeant always counts as having rolled a 6 on their HP, and additionally caries a pistol. 

The Kingfisher. A bird puppet of frightening proportions. 10 feet tall, barely fits on the stage it was designed for. No one knows what Magda's playwright intended the awful thing to do, but it is murderous, hateful, and utterly contemptuous of hypocrites and liars. HD10, Killing Beak (2d10, crit range 19-20), unarmoured, but -2 to all physical damage as the armature is built from iron, speed: x2 human, disposition: harsh critic. In addition:

• Beautiful. When you attempt you strike The Kingfisher you must test CHAR or find yourself unable to do so. The first time you successfully make this check, the spell is broken, and you may attack normally. 
• Absolute Hostility. The Kingfisher can direct its SCREAMING ABUSE at one target per round, and will target bad actors and liars preferentially. The target of its SCREAM must test WIS or be stunned for one round. 
• Soul Sucker. When The Kingfisher kills someone, it can spend a turn sucking its soul out of the corpse's brain. If it does so, the soul is destroyed forever. The Kingfisher will cackle hideously as it does so. 

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

The Butler

A huge White Ape in an equally huge, blue, tailored tuxedo. Runs the house as he thinks it ought to be run, which is to say: as Magda left it, and with Magda's last instructions firmly in mind. Keeps himself scrupulously clean, erect, and composed at all times. Unlike most white apes, speaks flawless common with a capital accent. He is very rational and very intelligent, but his motives are completely insane. If you visit the house under invitation, he will ensure that you have: a tour of the house and grounds; three course meals in the dining hall; restful sleep in the guests chambers. He will ensure that no harm comes to you, as long as you do exactly as he says the entire time. Has a 1 in 3 chance of developing a paranoid fixation on a particular person being a thief - once this has set in, he will trey to get them alone, and then kill them and dispose of their body in the garbage chute in the kitchens.

If you enter the house without an invitation, he will be hostile, but not immediately physically violent. He will demand that you leave, and try to escort you from the property. Under these circumstances, he has a 2 in 3 chance of believing you to be a thief and trying to kill you.

In all cases, the Butler feels himself allied to the Chef, and fears and hates the Stage Manager. He will never enter the theatre, and the Stage Manager never enters the rest of the house, for fear of The Kingfisher and the patrols of Manikins, respectively. If you could kill either The Kingfisher, or the Stage Manager, the Butler would be well pleased. He may even offer you money (his own wages, he would never steal from Magda's estate) to do so. He has about 1000s stashed away for the purpose. 

HD4, natural weapons d6 x2 (clubbing fists and brutal strength), armour: as leather, speed: a little faster than a human, demeanour: skittish, proud, conservative, calculating, capable of insane, berserker rages when angered. 

The Butler will treat being made dirty as a physical assault. If he is splashed with garbage, rotten meat, or faeces, he will take a single point of psychic damage and immediately enter a berserk killing frenzy. All of the Manikins in the house, with the exception of The Kingfisher, The Manikin Chorus, and the Terrible Armature, have been imprinted onto him, and follow his verbal instructions to the letter. 

The Butler carries a rings of keys on him at all times. It has a master key and ten others, for various bespoke lockboxes etc. Every lock in the dungeon can be opened with this key ring, and it takes one minute to try them all.

The Chef

A young female White Ape, who worked as Magda's genius head chef, and who survived the slaughter in the theatre building. Now trapped in the house by the Butler, who will not let her leave (standards would slip!). Unlike the other staff, she remembers her name: Ambuscade.

You better believe that she wears full chef whites, including a tall white chef's hat, at all times. She will do almost anything for new books to read.

Eating an entire three course meal prepared by Ambuscade heals all fear damage, and additionally grants d4 temporary hp. She can technically do this anywhere, but needs a royally stocked kitchen to do so. 

She serves the Butler out of fear, but would like nothing more than to escape and restart her life. If she thinks she is safe with you, she will offer you the stolen jewellery in her lockbox to kill the Butler. 

HD2, two chef's knives (d6 slashing, count as +1 in her hands), armour: unarmoured, speed: as human, disposition: reserved, severe, professional, with a wry sense of humour and a genuine desperation to escape the insanity of the Butler. 

The Stage Manager

The great enemy of the Butler, and the lord of the theatre itself. A massive, hunched White Ape who wears a human mask and a long tattered black velvet cape. Speaks common with an exaggerated RP accent, like an enthusiastic theatre kid. He will not leave the theatre for any reason (understandably: the Manikins have been instructed to kill him on sight). 

He genuinely loves the theatre, and many of the plays scattered about his chambers are his own efforts. He is not bad, but knows that he will never be as good as the Playwright upstairs - he has made peace with this, with the calm serenity of those who have lost the youthful sting of ambition. 

He will not attack you unless you provoke him, but he might try to scare for a laugh. If you show up on stage in a costume, he will expect you to know the play, and encourage you the way a good stage manager does with a nervous novice actor. In this role he is quite kind. If it turns out that you don't know the play he will freak out and throw shit and mouse skeletons at you.

He doesn't care about the Butler, and trusts the security of the Kingfisher completely. He never lies, and never acts without true conviction, and so has nothing to fear from the bird puppet. 

He carries a prop rapier that he's quite good with (he enjoys harmlessly flynning enormously, and will try it if he sees anyone carrying a rapier), but will throw it aside and tear you apart with his hands if angered, or in self defense. If you attack the Kingfisher or any of the Manikin Chorus, he will try to kill you. 

If you perform a difficult play flawlessly he will weep tears of joy, and gift you the thing that he treasures most in the world: an original, secret play from the Playwright, stained with Magda's perfume. This manuscript would be essentially priceless to the right people in the capital. 

HD5, prop rapier (1 damage), natural weapons d6 x2 (clubbing fists and brutal strength), armour as leather, speed: slightly faster than a human, disposition: mercurial, good humoured, kind, scatterbrained, capable of switching almost instantly into furious, violent, anger.  

The Ambassador of Dream

A large, handsome, and well-fed tabby that served as Magda's representative to the courts of the Prince of Dreaming. Will always be found sleeping in the daytime, or absent at night. The sunbeam that he snoozes in is always lightly enchanted with snoozyness - if you lie down in it, you will fall into restful sleep within five minutes. The first time you do this each day, it counts as a long rest. In addition, you will dream of the Ambassador, now walking on two legs, wearing fine court garments (including a wide brimmed musketeer's hat), and carrying the pistol, arming sword, and documents of his position. 

The Ambassador (he tells you to call him Guillaume) knows almost everything about the house and the rest of the staff, and will trade magic items for information. each item gives you a single question that he will answer truthfully. In addition, killing each of the Terrible Armature, the Kingfisher, and the Jeweller upstairs gets you an answer on the house. 

He is a dreamlands native - if you try to attack him he will simply flee where you cannot follow, laughing. When you awake, he will be gone, and will never appear for you again. 

STILL TO COME:

- The Second Floor, Magda's private rooms, workshops, and bedrooms. A portrait of their oddly focused mind; lots of magic items, traps, illusions, and more characters from Magda's old court, still stuck in the house: the Playwright and the Jeweller. 

- The Basement Levels. The shit house and refuse pile that the whole edifice is constructed on and sinking into. The foundations are in meat, liquified and compacted together. 

- The Greenhouses and Gate House. The Groundskeeper, Gardener, and Soldiery of the grounds and estate.