Class: University Don

Source unknown.

University Don

You are one of the exquisitely civilised ape academics of University. Your caste is revered by all genteel islanders, and you are famous for your shrewd council, for your skills as an advocate and researcher, and for your inability to lie. 

The life of a graduate in the halls is rough, violent, and short for those who fall from favour with its various factions - cliques and secret societies dominate the social life of the apes, and duels, brawls, and feuds of all kinds bubble beneath the cultured surfaces of the lecture halls and dormitories. The traditional duelling weapon is the blunderbuss, and all Dons of the University will keep one to hand as they see to their convoluted business. Most of them covet tenure, peer review, and publication above all things, and as such have no need to leave the great halls of University. Some choose to adventure on obscure missions of their own.

Skills: Pick a Major, a Minor, and an extra-curricular from the list below. 

Gear: Fine academic robes and a fancy hat: +1 to reactions with islanders, the enormous hat (you have to wear the whole thing to get the bonus) has bells on it, making moving silently impossible, a fraternal or sororial medium gladius engraved with your name, a spyglass, a compass, a stylus and notebook, a blunderbuss with ten rounds of ammunition and powder. 

A: +5 HP, +2 STR, +2 CON, Ape, Don.
B: pick one more Minor, and one more extra-curricular. Post-Doc. 
C: pick one more Major. Dignitas, Lecturer. 

D: +3 HP, +1 STR, +1 CON, Professor, The Secret. 

Ape: the apes of the islands are visibly unlike those in the Barony. You speak flawless common without an accent, can climb anything climbable, and can grasp things in your feet as though they were hands. You have terrible strength and ripping jaws, which give you natural weapons (d6 damage). You know the jungles of the islands well enough that you and your companions will never need to spend rations while traversing them. You treat corpses as rations, although eating the dead is considered impolite in human company. 

Don: by a bureaucratic accident of history, all students at University have the right to call themselves 'Don', which fresh graduates do with great zeal. The form is like Don Remazzio, or Don Balasquez - ape naming customs are fake Italian or fake Spanish. As a Don you may legally act as a lawyer or justice of the peace in any island settlement, and will always be received well unless there is a good reason why you wouldn't be. You can also never knowingly tell a lie. This is not a choice or a cultural thing, you literally can't do it. Everyone knows this, and relies on it. 

Post-Doc: If information exists somewhere in an archive, you can always find it given enough time. You may legally act as a celebrant or police officer (under regional jurisdiction) in any island settlement. People who don't know better will assume that you have specialist knowledge of all elements of the curriculum (see table below, this does not include extra-curricular activities) until you give them a reason not to. You may choose wield a blunderbuss in one hand (or foot) instead of two; if you do so, you roll at -1 to hit with it. 

Lecturer: You can teach others specialist skills that you know yourself. This can be done quickly, for up to ten listeners - it takes d4 hours, and they gain access to the skill for the next hour. This is merely a basic understanding of core principles, so any rolls they make are at -2, but it otherwise functions as any other skill. It can also be done in downtime: spend 1 year of downtime teaching someone a skill, or 2 years if you or they are doing this part time. You are legally allowed to work as a judge, surveyor, or humorist in any islander settlement. 

Dignitas: If someone has attacked you during this combat (whether or not they did damage), you attack them twice instead of once in melee. 

Professor: You grow into your full maturity, and quickly double in size. You require twice as many rations as before. You are legally allowed to challenge the judgement of any King or Queen of the islands - even if they disagree with you, they must allow you to make your case, and cannot kill, imprison, or maim you in the aftermath. You have the legal right to raise militias, requisition equipment, and provide writs of safe passage in any island settlement. 

The Secret: You have, through long, torturous searching of the self, learned how to lie. No one knows or suspects this. Doing so will cost you either d10 psychic damage on the spot, or a single point of max HP, your choice. Neither will betray on your face. 

The Curriculum 

If you take it as a Major, you get both the skill and the listed effect - if it is taken as a Minor, you only get the skill, which functions like any other. 

• Languages (for your skill, choose 3 languages that you speak). Listening to someone speak a language you don't know for one hour lets you communicate with them in simple terms: words of max four letters, sentences of max four words. 
• Mathematics. You can do anything your player can do with a calculator in your head, immediately. 
• Geometry. You can accurately assess a structure for weak points like an engineer. If you miss with a ranged weapon, your next attack with that weapon is at +1. 
• Architecture. You can accurately assess a structure for weak points like an engineer. You know with certainty who built something and when. You can ask the DM for a simple interior map of a building by looking at its exterior. 
• Rhetoric. If you wish to, you can always 'win' an argument (the DM should give a lot of leeway here, but this is still within reason - no one is buying your argument that you should be able to walk out of their shop without paying), and extend it to whatever length you wish. You can choose to make someone furious, or open to your point of view. Other apes distrust you, and it is rare to actually change a person's mind in any deep way. 
• Literature. You know all the classics, and have a 1 in 3 chance of knowing obscure works. If you know a work, you can remember everything in it (the DM will tell you anything you want to know about it). You have +2 to reactions with people who care about books. 
• History. You can ask the DM questions about the written history of the world and receive accurate answers. There are many things about the world that are not well understood, and many more that are not written down. 
• Jurisprudence. You know all the laws of the land, and roll any checks in a court of law at +4. You are legally sacrosanct - agents of the state will not harm you willingly, unless you force them to, and they will always spring to your defence if they see you attacked. You get +2 to reactions with criminals who you haven't unsuccessfully defended yet.  
• Strategy. The war college of the apes is strange place, and mostly teaches abstract principles, with a focus on paranoia, mutual anticipation and misdirection, the (again, mutual) 'infection' of an enemy by friendly forces, and the practice of feints, bluffs, and false retreats. You must see more clearly than your foe, in greater recursive clarity. You gain +2 to your initiative rolls, cannot be surprised, and are conscious of your surroundings when you sleep. 
• Alchemy. With 500s of material, a stocked laboratory, and a week of downtime, you can brew a draught that will: cure any disease, permanently chemically lobotomise someone, give the drinker a +1 and a -1 to stats chosen at the time of the brewing (if you drink more than one of these, you lose d4 max hp per potion past the first), or raise a corpse into a mindless servant for a day. 
• Optics (requires C template or better). One of the three noblest sciences, to the apes of University. Those that study optics do so in the Great Observatory. Any optical equipment is twice as powerful in your hands, you may accurately range artillery (or precise rifle fire), giving the firer a +4 to hit after a miss, and you know the secret of manufacturing Jale and Ulfire lenses. You also speak the Language of the Stars. 
• Paradox (requires C template or better). One of the three noblest sciences, to the apes of University. Those that study paradox do so in the Great Observatory. You can enter a state of trance wherein various futures and permutations of events run through your mind. You can ask a single yes or no question of the DM, about an issue that you have some awareness of, and they will give you a truthful answer. When you do this you must immediately eat 10 rations (or an entire human or ape corpse) and then sleep for 24 hours - if either of these conditions are not met, you lose d3 max HP. In addition, if you ever meet a Modron, you can roll a contested INT check with them in place of an attack - if you win, they take d6 paradox damage and are stunned for a turn.  
• Statistics (requires C template or better). One of the three noblest sciences, to the apes of University. Those that study statistics do so in the Great Observatory. You can accurately assess threat in real time, which corresponds to knowing one of the following about any creature you can observe for one minute: its HD, all of its attacks, its intelligence, its speed and AC, its immediate desires. You are beloved by both angels and demons, and they will seek to use your skills for their own ends. You dream often, and in terrifying clarity, of the cooking machines. 

Extracurricular Activities

• Boxing. Your natural attack is now a d8, and counts as dual-wielded. This attack doesn't kill people unless you want it to. 
• Calisthenics. You gain +1 DEX, never lose your balance, and take half normal fall damage. 
• Track and Field. You may ignore up to 2 points of fatigue. 
• Fencing. You may parry one attack per round with a sword - make an attack roll, and if it succeeds, your enemy's attack has no effect. You may take this option twice - if you do so, you gain the following: if you have parried all of an enemies attacks in a single turn, you may choose to riposte (an attack of your own, out of sequence, whose damage dice explodes), or disarm them. 
• Shooting. Your blunderbuss is exchanged for a pistol or a musket (your choice), which you get a +1 to hit with. 
• Singing. You can heal your party of d6 fear damage while you rest. You can also choose to make a roll on the wandering monster table at any time, and gain +1 to your reaction rolls with people who like singing (almost everyone). 
• Wrestling. You gain advantage on all grappling checks. You may take this option twice - if you do so, you gain the following: if an opponent starts their turn grappled by you, and you are in control of the grapple, you can make a contested STR roll. If you are successful, you can choose to break a limb or your choice (if they are human this will usually take them out of the fight), or their neck (which will kill them). 
• Rowing. You gain +1 STR, and can row with the power of 4 ordinary humans. 
• Ball Sports. You gain +1 to your initiative rolls. 
• Swimming. You can hold your breath for twice as long, swim twice as fast, and see perfectly underwater. You never suffer any disadvantages to fighting underwater with weapons that are designed for it (mostly spears and daggers).